Monday, December 5, 2011

Animal Lover*

I'm an animal lover, but sometimes I feel like it gets me into trouble. I've had more animal encounters than I care to remember and I'm convinced it's because animals know that I don't eat their kind and so they consider me a friend (this sounds really crazy while typing it out).

One time while kayaking in Monterrey, CA I had a baby seal climb into my kayak. It was really cute, but I had no idea whether the mom would think it was cute or that I was trying to harm it. The little thing sate there for a few minutes just looking at me while I sat there motionless with my camera strapped uselessly around my neck. Then without cause, it slid off my boat and went on it's way.

Another time I was walking out of the subway in Times Square and all of a sudden a giant python, slithered/jumped onto my shoulders. Some freak show was using it as a prop, and then a horn started honking and spooked the snake right onto me. I stood there screaming, jumping up and down in the middle of Times Square while tourists took pictures like I was part of the show. I finally grabbed the snake and threw it back to the snake guy and got out of dodge. Perhaps this is why I hate Times Square so much.

In college, as I've written about before, I was attacked by a squirrel while walking our dog. The squirrel came out of nowhere and jumped onto my leg and held on for dear life despite my kicking like hell to get it off. Finally I gave one big kick and the stupid thing went flying into the grass. Ever since then, I've been deathly afraid of squirrels, like every time I see one my heart starts pounding a million times/minute and I start looking for people around me that might be able to help if I get attacked. Eww...I'm having severe palpitations as I type this.

So a couple of months ago, when we had a little squirrel friend take up residence with us, I hit my random animal encounter limit. I'm a nature girl and appreciate wildlife like the best of them, but I prefer that it is outside of my living space, be it my house or my tent. Since we haven't seen any trace of the squirrel in the house in a while (poop by the windows, bite marks in my garlic, holes in my GU), we thought we were free of it. Apparently not.

When we got to the lake house on Friday night, I ran inside to go to the know, long car ride + diet coke = mad dash to the bathroom! Just as I was about to sit down I saw this:

Um, yeah. Squirrel in toilet. WTF?

"Eeeeeeeek, EWWWWWW, OMG - Doug...please come upstairs now! OMG, ewwwww, OMG." Doug came up and was as mortified as I was but he knew he was going to be the one taking care of it. Luckily (or not for the poor squirrel), there was no "catching it in a coat and smacking it with a hammer" necessary, Doug just got a shovel to scoop it out with and a garbage bag to catch it and then took it out to the garage.

Doug is convinced this is the same squirrel that invaded our house last time because "they were the same size" and I really hope he's right, otherwise we have a squirrel problem that needs dealt with asap!

I may start eating animals again because none of this happened when I wasn't a vegetarian. Not really, but COME ON ANIMALS...I LEAVE YOU ALONE, SO LEAVE ME ALONE TOO!


  1. To many encounters to be random IMO. Lol watch your back.

  2. Ahhhh! I can't believe this!!! Maybe you owned a chicken factory or led illegal hunting expeditions in a former life or something. (?) This is freaky!!